Someone far cleverer than I remarked on a similar story on Gawker the other day:

"What was the first miracle, making sure those non-disclosure agreements held from beyond the grave?"

I read #4 as 'Peeta', and my brain translated the rest as 'from Hunger Games'. (Full disclosure: I have been drinking.)

Number THREE!!!!

This would be a lot easier to understand if we just locked up Dwight Howard in a box with a radioactive substance.

I'm going to go with #2. Dude is obvs looking for a beard.

4, if he has a goatee.

4! 4! 4!

I vote for 3 (with 1 as a probable co-factor). Some young women allow older men to woo time for ages before realizing/admitting the obvious...and the guys delay a physical overture because they hope the pampering will eventually overcome te lack of physical chemistry for her.

I feel like, if she couldn't tell by now then it's probably 2. Like I feel if he was in love there would have been some emotional hints that would have clued her in otherwise. But he has trouble doing the romantic emotions without it coming off as fake, so he doesn't and just goes through the motions.

Number #2. No doubts at all.

I'm in the (2) camp. He's never had girlfriends, everyone involved is in deep denial, they see a nice girl to woo into the fancy family. She's the missing piece to perfection. Also just FYI to the guy: Parent's love me, I'll stay home and be your beard so long as I can have a side piece for sex.

Horton hears a "Who?"

Baelish.

5) That guy from Seinfeld that keeps taking Elaine out without actually asking her out on dates, then casually introduces her to his parents.

#2, all the way. My first thought is this guy is trying to hide his true feelings from his ultra conservative but ultra rich family by showering the nearest female friend he can find with gifts.

i shudder at #4.

I like answer # 2, but it is far more likely that it is #1. Unless he is giving much better swag to Kyle.

There's one tiny grey pixel in the middle of all that black and it's kind of freaking me out.

I'm a Quaker. If you wanna see compassion and good works, the meetinghouses are open to all - just a gentle suggestion :)!