It's never uttered an errant word. Not one.

Why? Because I look hmmmish?

That's very close to racism, you know.

I don't understand.

That's the Art Deco spirit!

What about Art Nouveau? Ever use that one?

Or Art Garfunkel?

Whatever the case, don't give up. Would the Flatiron Building give up?

Are you sort of triangular in shape?

So far, yes.

Hmm.

That book you ordered. Perhaps you might skip that chapter next time.

What do you mean by "work"?

Today?

I await your next move.

Why cancel?

Wait. A. Second.

All these people just got married?!?!?

Rick Santorum was right. Same-sex marriage *does* lead to plural marriage, and marriage to unicorns (not pictured, I assume), and marriage to inanimate objects.

I'm marrying the Flatiron Building next Tuesday, by the way.

And still you've been commenting here and on Gawker, humorously, all day long.

Shhh. Don't tell, but that's part of the joke, you see....

I heard they also invited your roommate from Japan.

And Katie Holmes gets a C- for being a busy single mom.

A question: When did Maggie Gallagher start guest editing for Star magazine?

Oh.

But you shouldn't feel any of those things here.

Not knowing a bunch of silly 'NSync song titles? You should wear that fact like a badge of honor!

"Make bombs"?

"Stop Driving Taxis"?

That kind of casual, shameful racism just makes me Sikh.

What does ":X" mean?

Is that a good or a bad thing?