The face may be funny, sure.

But that necklace? All business.

Texas?

I thought they seceded.

God knows they won't stop talking about it . . . .

. . . which is a non-denominational public school . . .

Aren't all public schools supposed to be "non-denominational"?

What did I miss?

For those wondering, I happen to know what happened to Thor, the heavyweight doberman.

He's still with Patterson, as menacing as ever.

He's also the majority whip in the Wyoming state legislature.

True story.

Wow.

That's a really powerful Wyoming ad.

Too bad it's running almost exclusively in southern California.

And I applaud you, both for keeping it real and for being a functioning semi-adult.

I, by contrast, am a semi-functioning part-time merman/maid.

Nicely played.

But I'll see your Floordrobe and raise you a Shoe-ton. (Rhymes with futon.)

I thought Bob was your uncle. Not so?

I also hung up my college in clothes, which was even more impressive.

Also: I was poor. I think I owned two, maybe three, shirts that weren't t-shirts. Not a lot to hang up.

Apparel Chair

I think, in real life, I would like to be your friend.

You are far too nice. I'm serious. You seem like a very, very nice person.

Is that true?

The beautiful thing about poetry is that there are no rules.

I don't think you're talking about poetry. I think you're talking about Thomas Edison's lab.

Or the Dolphins' locker room.

How can you call that a poem, Barry?

It doesn't even rhyme.

LADYGUNN is awesome.

Just like her brother, Tim.

Are all the Gunns simply fantastic? You know, kinda the opposite of facebook?

I've watched both of these videos six times now, and I have only one question:

Who's going to break it to Jackie that she's *not* actually marrying Jason Derulo? She's going to be so disappointed . . . .

True — and thanks.

But would Cus have kept Don King away?

Honest question: How could it have been worse if Cus were alive?

You might think this guy is a scammer and a fraud. I think he's an inspiration!

Let's play imagination:

Imagine you saw a commenter who misunderstood both journalism and humor. He also seemed to have an inflated sense of self-worth and a totally distorted sense of what "thin" means. That's the guy you saw.

So my question: At what point would you stop looking in the mirror?