Well it's about time!

The good people of Florida have been deprived of the opportunity to prove they won't support an MLS team for far too long now. What's it been — 8 years?

Obtuse reaction is obtuse.

That too.

I'm allergic to that.

This will help me with my swimming.

Do you guys sell gloves?

Thanks!

Can I tell your supervisor how nice you've been? I should tell him / her soon, apparently.

Oh, yes.

But feel free to go bigger if you'd like to see how it looks.

Feel free just to write them, in Sharpie, on the outside of the box.

I'm not shy. Or proud. Or human.

About the swelling, you mean?

I did, though it was nice to hear people tell me that I looked "swell."

I do, by the way. Look swell, that is.

It's hard being a merman/maid.

(Related: I think my groupthink application has been rejected. I spent months on that thing!)

No kidding.

I did that last year.

I was cold. Very cold.

One of my friends is going to dress up like a delivery man. Another is going to dress up like a dolly to hoist me around.

I plan to sleep most of the evening.

And I appreciate it. I really do.

You've also got some really creative ideas.

But I'll only need one refrigerator box, thank you. I'm going, this year, as a refrigerator box.

Well, you know what they say about assumptions: Sometimes they're right, or something.

Anyway, just need one — for my Halloween costume.

How big do you think I am?

Could you just send me one of those, empty? I have a clever idea for a Halloween costume.

Nah. Keep 'em coming.

I may buy a fridge one day. Just have to figure out what I'd use it for, that's all.

Wait. A. Second.

Does this mean I have to rethink how and when I use the phrase "dickhead"?

Advice welcome.

This really puts the prime in Amazon Prime.

(So do the water filters you keep sending me. I don't need 'em, as it happens, but your the never-ending stream of unwanted packages sure makes me feel special!)