Crumb. I should have said Carnegie Deli.

Bad? No way. You played that well! Added lots of value and improved our collective return on investment. Or something.

Any good irons in the fire?

To get to Carnegie Hall!!!

(That's the answer, right?)

Sofa, so good — as they say.

(You well, badmutha?)

Like the empire, I think.

Either that or it's Val Kilmer.

I don't know who she is, but the woman in red looks a lot like Val Kilmer.

By the ottoman?

Where? Here?

You're a brave soul, trying to figure out what a method actor like Mr. Kilmer is talking about. Once he's in character, he's always in character. Apparently, at restaurants, he still makes reservations as Mr. Batman Iceman Morrison.

Which one of the backup dancers was also the Rabbi?

I thought The Doors came out in 1991?

Really?

No wonder there's so much Heat between them! Betty must not the The Saint most take her to be . . .

This is amazing.

Val Kilmer is still so deep in the role of Jim Morrison that he's talking, decades later, about Grammys and long-lost musical awards.

That's the mark of a professional — a real genius, even.

At least there's a silver lining.

I mean, if there's one group ready to listen to reason (and to the results of complicated Swedish medical studies), it's teenage alcoholics. Logic and long-term thinking are like sweet, sweet nectar to those kids.

Non-alcoholic, of course.

No. Apparently the purpose of a joke — of everything, in fact — is to please carolene18.

You're right.

Without professional soccer, baseball, or hockey, it's been a bleak time all over the region. And it's only gotten worse since the disappearance (or scheduled disappearance) of two once-proud basketball teams. Alas.

But at least the college football out there is really good.

Do you mean the Caribou?

And is it because the other "teams" are stuck in traffic?

I said "a professional soccer team" . . .

I, for one, hope they finally put a professional soccer team in Colorado.

Terrorist Zip Snaps are no laughing matter, my friend!

I mean, if we can't even control our snapping, then the terrorists have won.

At least that's what Ann Coulter said.