Reminds me of when my brother stuck his hand in the toaster to see what would happen.

oooh, that made me remember i once gave myself a papercut on my eyeball! i had one of those fold out posters from tigerbeat (bsb, natch) and rather than unfolding it like a normal person i just shook it, and it flew open and sliced the white bit of my eye! weirdest feeling ever.

I think it's awesome bc you can use that against him for the rest of time. Like the time Mr. melted the plastic onto a lasagna because he thinks he's too good for instructions. That happened 9 years ago and it comes up at least once a month. Gold.

Oh and to post on behalf of my husband, he gave himself a concussion on our homemade slip-n-slide that was actually a 100ft long piece of painters plastic. I had suggested putting an inflatable pool at the bottom but he said it wasn't necessary and went hard into that metal fence. I'm not sure if this was dumb,…

What was horrible was that it was like a crescendo of burn. Subtle at first and then it just intensified. As far as your friend, I bet she wished it would have been ghost peppers!

I love this story. I mean it must have sucked, obviously, but it's very amusing.

I did that in bed once! Reached down one-handed to hike the covers a little farther up, but they were caught on something and didn't budge, so I just yanked harder. At which point I lost my grip and punched myself in the face. No lasting damage, but my husband couldn't go to sleep for twenty minutes b/c he was…

I once severed my tongue (did you know they could reattach those?) in a library, on the first day after their renovations (I ended up volunteering there 15 years later, it was apparently legend.) I tripped and bit it clear off.

Well, my now husband and were having pizza one afternoon. After we were done eating, one thing lead to another and I starting giving him a good ol BJ. I was horny, so was he, so I got on top and started riding away, enjoying ourselves. Then I felt a slight burning sensation. I was like, oh whatever, it'll go away.…

Bloody nose and lip pulling up my own bra strap. My hand slipped and I punched myself.

I mean, I support a woman's right to choose whatever menstrual product eases the pain of a major organ shedding its lining and bleeding profusely out of another major organ. But I will say that in my 26 years on this planet, 13 of which I have been menstruating (my puberty is finally a teen! how excite!), I have never…

try a diva cup instead. They're much more comfortable and less…abrasive...

It's PANTY that ruins it for me. Underwear liner? Undie-guard? Knickers stickers!?!?

So the entrance lines at the Taj Mahal are separate for men and women. I get through pretty fast, and I'm wondering where the hell my boyfriend is. Turns out, the backpack he was carrying had a couple tampons in it, and he ended up having to explain what they were to the dudes checking bags, using what I can only…

If I thought I could teach my Boston to do this, I would drop $300 on a roomba right now. But she won't sit still for 5 seconds. She did wear this Christmas headband around for a long time today and that was pretty adorable.

And your stepdad sounds interesting who the hell calls their own people "wet back beaners"? That is horrifying.

That crap is just insane. I don't care who my daughter dates as long as he or she is not a complete jerk.

I don't have access to your medical records, nor am I a doctor. But I tend to think your sister is full of shit. Her motivation is suspect, there are reasons why people aren't supposed to practice medicine on their family and she sounds like a bitch. I also think HIPAA laws are important as a security professional.And…

Your assumption here is a problem. You assume that the commenter is looking for a prize. They aren't. They are saying they don't need to apologize for sympathy and empathy which is offered without reward to all walks of life. That the automatic assumption (on your part, it would seem) that they are saying these…

@funnyface: yup. semen is slow because of all the sperm. Also, My dildo doesn't spooge. I can't afford that model.