I’d say rather, it’s difficult to *know* to do. My first gf could turn me on any time of the day or night just by telling me she was really turned on, but for me to realize that took a while (and a couple of fights). I thought the way my sexual response system worked was the way everyone’s worked, and even the…

Oh I’m totally not excusing it. I’m just saying, I’ve had the weird backwards thing where if I don’t ask they can’t say no (not where I would commit a crime) and I think some men are childish in that thought process and haven’t been educated about consent.

I totally agree with you on the education. I don’t see how we can expect kids to understand something we won’t teach them.

Does anyone else relate to the feeling of not wanting to ask a question in case you don’t get the answer you want? I think there may be some weird psychological shit going on in the young man’s brain. Like, “if I ask her outright she might say no, but if I just keep doing what I’m doing...”

Honestly, when it comes to kids I feel like boys have this idea that girls are going to act like they aren’t enjoying sex. So when they’re laying there I think they think it’s normal.

I realised at one point that seeing a woman smile and look like she was having fun in porn was rare. And I don’t like that. It should be fun right? Maybe I’m projecting. I’m happy to admit that I’m pretty vanilla. But I think the whole trope of women being reluctant and men having to “win” sex from a woman is a huge…

Got an answer you didn’t like, huh?

• Becoming incapacitated or passing out at a party is risky, stupid behavior for a woman.

I actually kind of agree with you? The experiences I’ve had with men who didn’t seem to care if I was interested in sex (or who seemed to actively get off on me not wanting it... bleh) have been with men who were kind of into the dominance/strength thing.
(Please no one yell at me, I know real BDSM is all about consent…

I find it hard to understand how sex can be fun if both people aren’t fully into it. But so much porn I see (and I don’t actually watch very much at all) seems aimed at men dominating women, choking, restraining, etc. (while acknowledging that BDSM is a separate thing and totally fun for consenting partners) it seems…

You HOPED you were touching the third rail.

Not when you’re 19, away from home, and desperate to have adventures and experiences.

I know I’m naive sometimes, but is it really difficult to WANT to do? Shouldn’t most people want their partner to be enjoying sexy times, and if they’re not enjoying it shouldn’t that be a turn off? Are people really so fucked up that they’re more interested in getting off than making sure their partner is…

Teaching affirmative consent is not the same as encouraging women to never be cautious. Trust me, we all grow up knowing we have to take care to avoid rape.

Becoming incapacitated or passed-out drunk is a bad idea for everyone, not just women and not just because of rape. It’s also a good way to die by choking on your own vomit, or from alcohol poisoning. It’s a good way to end up taking a fatal fall out of a window. It’s a good way to drown. It’s a good way to crash a…

Anybody can be raped, women are just statistically more likely to be victims. But they aren’t the only ones.

The problem isn’t that those two things can’t be true at the same time. Everyone should always be careful and people should still not have sex with someone who is unable to consent. The problem people have with these types of comments is this...

Rapists are estimated to be at least 5% of the US population, so this makes sense.

Realistically, there is always going to be at least a few rapists. Some rape undoubtedly occurs due to poor understanding of consent, but some of it is just straight up, unfettered misogyny. For rapists that fall into that category, its all about show their victim that they're in charge, and I'm willing to bet they…

Ninety-five percent of current and recent male students said sexual activity when one person is incapacitated or passed out is tantamount to sexual assault.