My ex has a pre-teen daughter who is extremely perceptive to what goes on around her, very close to her mom, and extremely hard on herself. Her moms new boyfriend posts shit on Facebook all the time that is disgustingly misogynistic and just...gross. Shit about women giving blow jobs to get jewelry, calling women…

I saw it as more of a “stop and think about what you’re saying because your daughter hears that and what does it say to her” kind of comment - sort of a check into the boards parenting wise - not as a “you should be better to women because you have a daughter” thing.

I agree with you, but I also think that what parents value has a huge influence on their kids. I grew up hearing my father chiming in on the weight and appearance of every woman he talked about - his coworkers, my friends’ moms, his cousins. From a young age it convinced me that my worth was contingent on my physical…

It shouldn’t, but humans are stupid. We need lots of reminders not to be dumb. For instance: I saw a visually impaired guy hailing a taxi here in London today, and let me tell you, I had never ever considered exactly how much ballsy fucking courage something like that takes. Truly, there are so many things we don’t…

You’re right. However, the daughter thing does seem to bring out how galling sexism is.

Amen. And conversely, can we stop with the convenient excuse of “I’m not sexist, I have a daughter/wife/mother”? They’re just using the women in their lives as shields, to give them carte blanche to continue treating all other women like shit.

Seconding being more supportive of young parenthood - it’s something that societally speaking we really suck at. In my own family, I always get to hear younger mothers being called “immoral” or “idiots.” Pretty awful, and turned me off of family a bit. Plus it narrows the opportunity for serious relationships to a…

It SHOULDN’T take a familial relationship to understand how to be a decent person. Unfortunately, it often does. :\

For a lot of guys, it does, and not automatically either. This is the world we live in.

I guess I just don’t understand this perspective. My father has been estranged from me since I was 5, and I don’t feel any sense of curiosity or connection to him. He chose to be a stranger to me, so what would I possibly get out of trying to make him anything else? He’s just another person I don’t know, like the…

I completely disagree. Positive relationships (key word is positive) with both genders is important in a child’s life. Because both genders exist in this world. To say that maleness isn’t important is to say femaleness isn’t important. I have never heard anyone say their life sucked because they had a caring and…

Ahhh, video is private! I needed to envelope myself in all things Solange!

people who don’t have access to their biological history by design

Ethics? Really? What about kids who are adopted? Or kids whose biological parents are abusive? Your concern about “denying them their full sense of self and identity, with anonymous genetic material” sounds like a lot of made-up superstitious nonsense.

Not really. My grandfather and uncles died before I was born. I liked a few of my mother’s boyfriends but they never really stuck around long enough for me to see them as father figures (and maybe this is because I was just so used to not having one).

Yea, there’s a reason the “strong-ass bitches” who feel comfortable attempting this are also “largely older, better educated, more affluent, and white...”

Hmmm...I’m wondering if it’s more about family structure than just her choice though. I’m not doubting your sentiments at all. I just read that “orphan with no immediate family) and that got me wondering. My extended family is super close and I have a cousin who has 4 kids as a single mom (until recently, she’s now…

Thank YOU for saying this. I often wonder about the child (ren) of these situations (and obviously, yours is just one story) But I feel that if you ever question the motivation, you get shot down and accused of being anti feminist.

I’ve sometimes pondered the question of, should I end up alone, should I have a child on my own? Having kids is something I deeply desire, but at age 30, marriage is looking less and less likely for me. Fellow feminists are EXTREMELY gung-ho to ensure me that I totally should do it, I don’t need a relationship, strong…