When I was a punk kid, I threw a stink bomb at a life-guard’s booth at the Jersey Shore. The stink bomb was very light, and was caught up in the wind (read, I made a bad throw) and I beaned him in the back with it.

This is like a bank asking for a bailout after all their executives mishandled millions in other peoples’ money. Like that would ever happen!

It’s 1989 2003 2005 2008 2010 2015 all over again!

“In an effort to increase scoring, every team must now use Roberto Luongo.”

That photo serves as a perfect metaphor for when Deadspin cross links its readers over to Jezebel.

If you think that was intense, you should watch her fake an orgasm.

Smart girl. She now stays at a Holiday Inn Express.

$55 million is just an estimate. They actually awarded her points.

Ha! Dude wanted a Trout souvenir, but only came away with a red herring.

I know most laugh it off but Rocky IV taught us to be suspicious of the training regiments of Russians with beautiful, glistening thighs

Neighbors heard someone exclaim he’d calcutta a bitch. Such a hyderabad situation all around.

he got knocked down, he got up again...... errrrr..... nevermind

Police said the man who was killed, Obinna Michael Durumchukwa, 34, was celebrating his birthday with his friend Nwabu Chukwuma

Looks like his aim....

i have the weirdest boner right now

Alternatively, this was taken in Florida. That is his real deadbeat dad. He disregards his children who live in Ohio all, but one week a year. He figured that if the kid went home with bruises, his ex wife would file charges and he already has warrants.

That guy was actually his step dad. The kid hadn’t really taken a liking to his new step dad and usually only talked to him in passive aggressive remarks. Step dad thought that a trip to the ball game would change all of that. Kids love sports! But when he got there the kid wasn’t impressed and after every play would…

Really?