.

ALL Sonic drinks are cocktails in my world.

Just bring back the Chilito.

“and we only included national—or mostly national—chains in our ranking.”...

The non compete clause was fairly standard in the fast food world, for instance if you were a McDonald's employee you where prohibited to take an a job at another fast food restaurant. This was never enforced though and is a thing of the past. 

Do you keep your poop charts in a log book?

“constipated in the end”

But no Taco Bell for me.

I just throw those in the ocean, dolphins love them. 

Or just use a toaster/egg cooker

I read the whole article just to get to the end and find out the answer is a sandwich. 

A shitty worker does a shitty job, don’t think it’s an “apathetic liberal” thing.

Wow that was a wHopper.

If your the type of person (like I am) who takes the time to complain about something also be that type of person (like I am) to compliment something.

Get out of here with your common sense and logic this is the internet. 

Locally we have a restaurant owner/philanthropist (Joel Watson) who teamed up with the city mayor/local pot shop owner (Steve Lee) to open up a snack store called Joel Exotics,

Maybe if they went a bit slower the people waiting in line would have been a bit less patient and a bit more angry.

I think the following lyrics from the Ween song “Pumping for the Man” seem appropriate:

A quarter pounder with cheese and a cheeseburger happy meal with fries.