I assume the theme to "Shartbeast" is sung to the tune of Don Johnson's "Heartbeat".

Hey, Conan! Sing "Fair Harvard!"

You want A MORTICIAN! YOU WANT A MORTICIAN! YOU WANT A MORTICIAAAAAAAN!

Starring Gummer Slau! Er, Summer Glau.

I think she was laughing because it just kept getting more ridiculous. He moved on from football metaphors to Gillette ad copy. "Never let 'em see you sweat! WOOOO!"

Am I the only one who didn't see all the Jesus coming? Did I miss something earlier in the season? That really came out of left field.