Oh, I got her back! And he got arrested for being a drug dealer shortly after. It was kinda great.
spacetimedoctor
spacetimedoctor
I took him to small claims court to get my cat back. She apparently has a crew of people who browse the dockets for ridiculous lawsuits. I actually called the producers and was like, "Am I being punked right now?"
I had to take my mother to the emergency room while I was visiting her one weekend. I ended up staying for several days because she was super sick and my dad is basically incapable of caring for a houseplant, let alone a human. When I got back to my apartment I shared with my ex, the place was totally trashed and he…
If they really want to be spiteful, they should donate that money to the Auburn football program.
As if the tissues weren't enough, I feel like we're always dangling from the precipice of some paper goods crisis. If we're not out of paper towels, we're running low on toilet paper. Which means that virtually every blasted day, I'm at the market picking up some supply or another.
Dammit! I missed this one!
I know $8.00 is RIDIC for a lip balm, but I cannot live without this one. I tried them all and this one is just amazing.
I know $8.00 is RIDIC for a lip balm, but I cannot live without this one. I tried them all and this one is just…
Running around the apartment making airplane noises and then giggling hysterically. I still do this when my fiancee is out of town.
I've decided that my new extreme end payment, similar to all the tea in China is "All the Dicks in Glory Hole Canyon"
I'd offer them some water from my monogrammed thermos... But I forgot it at home. All I have is my monogrammed casserole carrier :(
It's reading things like these that reinforce my opinion that everyone in the general public needs to work in the service industry for one year just to gain a different perspective of how their food comes to them. Think of how much better tips would be and how much easier service type jobs would be
I was just waiting to call this list invalid when I clicked the link, but...it's perfect.
When I was 14 or 15, I participated in a summer live-in college prep program at the local university. There were, IIRC, 125 other high-school kids, along with a dozen or so staff and instructors. At the beginning of the program, they distributed a whole lot of paperwork that most people never read, including a list of…
technically, this wasn't a lie, more of a deception, but here goes. I was born in another country but went to university in Australia. Because I didn't have permanent residency status, I was on a student visa, I was only allowed to work 20 hours a week. My classes started, and I was desperate to find a job. My savings…
Now playing
They're not as good as a heron surfing on a hippo, but I've been enjoying these videos of cat fuckery this week:
Oh my God what happened to you as a child I am so sorry
I fucked the groundskeeper in the garden shed of the church next door to my house. He was hot in a Vincent D'Onofrio Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead kind of way. He was 6'4" and muscular but a little soft around the middle, with a hairy butt and a girthsome dick. He had thick hair and long eyelashes. He bent me…