Lego Movie snubbed???????

Ooh boy I can't wait for the arguments people make trying to defend laundry detergent lady. SOME PEOPLE AREN'T FAMILIAR WITH YOUR HIGH-CLASS FANCY KITCHEN STORES AND SO MISTAKE THEM FOR TRADER JOE'S ALL THE TIME! MAYBE SHE WAS FROM A DIFFERENT CULTURE WHERE COOKING OIL LOOKS LIKE OUR LAUNDRY DETERGENT! IT IS…

No. You should not. Being an excellent cook is about 10% of being a successful chef. The rest is being able to thrive in a thoroughly fuck-up environment.

Several jobs ago, I ordered a sushi appetizer at a nice company dinner. The president/CEO's secretary (who I later learned was having an affair with him) was a woman of extremely limited education and experience, and she was hyper-aware of this fact and constantly paranoid that other people were making fun of her. She…

I really wasn't planning to do another Terrible Customer Stories entry any time soon,

#AnythingBreadOrPotato

Am I the only one who thinks that banning female ejaculation is the most offensive?

...he save bread...?

That's so weird! And very amusing.

Mark...did you just make me like Garth Brooks?

I bet that asshole, Chris Gaines, will be performing in his place.

I would like to point out that this dumb motherfucker's apology includes the phrase "a different tact." Tack. Tack, you dumb fuck.

Great. Another moron who doesn't understand the definition of "free speech." Having the right to freedom of speech doesn't inoculate you from criticism of your free speech.

FERRETS

Throwing garbage out of car windows. Not a cigarette. Like oh I'm done with ____ rolls down window and tosses. I dated a girl who did this and was so instantly turned off because I actually didn't know grown up humans did such things.

I saved up to buy a kitty surprise when I was a kid, and my mom took me to the toy store to pick one out. I must have spent half a freaking hour trying to decide which one to buy (because HOW MANY ARE INSIDE?), while my mom kept saying "Just pick one already." I finally picked one, brought it home, and AW YEAH 5…

Well hey now, this is unfair. These are clearly student films and microbudget indies. Let's head on over to the major TV/Film listings and see the diverse and challenging roles available to women.

I wanted to speak

These are perfect little misogyny haikus. I'm hoping I'll be able to show these to my granddaughters/great-nieces to explain how much better they have it.

One time my cat ran away. Turned out she was just in the wall right next to my apartment. Wish I'd known that before spending every single waking moment of the 5 days she was "gone" running around in -20°F weather, leaving cat food next sources of heat, tracking every set of paw prints I could find, putting up posters…