State Name : Obesity Ranking : Poorest Ranking

Mississippi, 1 - 1

Let me get this straight: So when I fold my laundry, I'm not making laundry tacos? And when I bend over and touch my toes, I'm not a taco? How am I not a taco?

I have this dorky quesadilla maker that was a gift from my late grandmother. Last week I was really stoned making egg, salami, Jarlsberg quesadillas (fusion!) and at one point I bit into a really cheesy bit of salami. OR SO I THOUGHT.

By the time I was 6, I had two little sisters. We went on our first family vacation that year, and (now that I know what kind of hell it is to share a hotel room with children) my parents weren't exactly relaxing. By the end of the trip, their plan was to load up the car while we were all still asleep (when you're…

It's a summer suit! What don't people understand about that? He's not a goddamn funeral director.

i need people to understand how DEEPLY i mean this

Speaking of murder, I really ought to create some new lists with Game of Thrones characters.

Raccoons love the cat food.

I agree - and wont rest until he apologises for the term "Britisher",

I frequently need placeholder names for various projects at work. Here are some examples of what I typically use:
• Characters from Clue (Miss Scarlett, Professor Plum, Mrs. Peacock)
• Harry Potter Professors (Minerva McGonagall, Severus Snape, Horace Slughorn)
• Famous Dead Writers (Frederick Douglass,…

SMOLDER SMOLDER SMOLDER

"Could've used more vegan options."

i thought it was just trynna be like miley. :(

Cat raising ducklings. The cat gets frustrated because ducklings become independent a lot sooner than kittens..

"I'll teach you how to ski at Sochi!" Hahahaha!

During grad school I worked in a parking booth at the university hospital. It was usually a great job, I always took night shifts so that I was basically being paid to study. Nothing ever happened, really.

*cracks knuckles* I have a few.

Retail. Man comes into the store where I was working. Acts a little strange and shifty. I forget about him, because I have ordering to do. When I finished, I go to the back of the store to put some items away. Strange and shifty was on the floor with his pants pulled down. He was sucking his own penis.

Awful, but credit where credit's due: The Buffy hair and wardrobe are pretty spot on.