I frequently need placeholder names for various projects at work. Here are some examples of what I typically use:
• Characters from Clue (Miss Scarlett, Professor Plum, Mrs. Peacock)
• Harry Potter Professors (Minerva McGonagall, Severus Snape, Horace Slughorn)
• Famous Dead Writers (Frederick Douglass,…

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"Could've used more vegan options."

i thought it was just trynna be like miley. :(

Cat raising ducklings. The cat gets frustrated because ducklings become independent a lot sooner than kittens..

"I'll teach you how to ski at Sochi!" Hahahaha!

During grad school I worked in a parking booth at the university hospital. It was usually a great job, I always took night shifts so that I was basically being paid to study. Nothing ever happened, really.

*cracks knuckles* I have a few.

Retail. Man comes into the store where I was working. Acts a little strange and shifty. I forget about him, because I have ordering to do. When I finished, I go to the back of the store to put some items away. Strange and shifty was on the floor with his pants pulled down. He was sucking his own penis.

Awful, but credit where credit's due: The Buffy hair and wardrobe are pretty spot on.

This is actually a story about a fellow server, a very young, vivacious, kind, and quirky girl whom everyone loved working with, with but nonetheless had a pronounced ditzy streak.

UGH the coat cape. Hate it, hate it, hate it. ACTUAL capes, though? I covet one. Saw a gorgeous navy blue cape with leather trim in Ralph Lauren a few years ago. Sadly it cost more than my car, but I live in hope of finding a reasonably-priced alternative.

Please note from the outset of this story that my family LOVES squirrels. I even had one as a pet as a kid, but that's another story.

I get those looks too, because I always order no lettuce (same reasoning as you), no tomatoes (I don't eat raw tomatoes from restaurants/the supermarket, because they taste like pink watery nothing).

A friend of mine got told on the Fourth of July that her husband wanted a divorce. He blamed her for everything - she was too in to her career, she wasn't getting pregnant fast enough, and a bunch of other douche canoe things in a list that smelled, shall we say, fishy, from the beginning.

One night, I couldn't sleep, and was watching the Lord of the Rings (tends to put me to sleep) on his computer, when his Facebook binged, revealing he was still logged on. I looked (I know, am soooo curious!!!!) at the message, and it was work related.

Imagine being told that your feelings aren't valid, your pain isn't legitimate

Awww, is somebody upset because they might actually have to fairly compensate the people who keep their business running?

Casa Bonita is a real place? I 100% thought it was a made up South Park thing!