This used to happen to our house all the time! Our number was one digit off from a local injury lawyer that used to air local tv ads at all hours of the day and night. We would get the weirdest calls, and occasionally people would get livid that our home wasn't a law firm. Dude, just hang up and redial the right…

Laundry tacos! I will now be making laundry tacos every time I do laundry.

I'd actually take it as a sign that he likes you and wants to see you more. (I could be projecting here, but if I see no future with a guy, I don't even bother with directions since I know I won't be coming back to that well.) Everyone likes different things (despite what Cosmo may have led us to believe) and he…

One of my favorite Simpsons lines:

They are obviously the best anchor team. I could watch old "Really?!" segments forever.

Seriously, it's 2014! How does anyone still think that that kind of racist shit is ok?! If you're gonna be racist, don't put it in writing at least.

More of this please!

That is absolutely horrifying! Dickey's Barbecue needs to be shut down immediately. Where were the health inspectors? The restaurant is supposed to put labels on dates on pretty much everything, and if they aren't doing that consistently (and it sounds like they are not), then the health inspector would catch it.…

Your list is so close to being accurate! The correct order should read:

Dick always had some of the best lines on the show. I still quote this gem from time to time: "You raise an uninteresting point."

I was about 12, and my mom and I took our two dogs (father and daughter black labs) to a pet "parade" downtown. Some dude had brought a huge long-horn bull to the parade and had him on a leash. Well, our male dog started smelling this bull's balls, and the bull decided he is not having it and just charged in my…

Dude, I feel the same way about the tomatoes too! But sometimes I forget to say hold them, and at least they don't add any taste.

Every subway worker I've ever encountered looks at me like I'm crazy when I say no lettuce, probably because they pick it up automatically. But seriously, I have so much hatred for iceberg lettuce; I mean, what's the point of it even?

Yay! Another video from FunnyCatsAndNiceFish! I really hate those videos from SomberCatsAndAssholeFish.

Heart-meltingly adorable!

Awww! I love your torties!!! Are they siblings?

I served a table full of "The Price is Right" models once (the restaurant was close to the studio). And one of them ordered a glass of "mer-lot" with a hard T. Good thing she was pretty.

Yes please! I think most of the guys I've slept with could use this extra help.

No, you claim them at the end of your shift; it's part of the check-out/clock-out process. (Check-out being where you settle with the restaurant, where you give the cash received for the meals and they give you the tips from the credit cards). And then the taxes are withheld from your paycheck. That's how servers walk…

When is a dick pic ever not unsolicited?