i don’t repair cars, but i have played a video game where it’s illegal to be a mechanic, so i can state with certainty that this is a slippery slope that will lead to the starworm finally returning to wipe out this planet

don’t do daddy lenin dirty like this

you’re forgetting the fourth and only good option: total iconoclasm. erase from the historical record everything from more than 20 years ago. i don’t know who started this country and i couldn’t be happier

if i were to write a dystopian sci-fi novel about a country that clings to backwards and horrifying morals because of a bunch of dead men from a hundred years ago that are now treated as infallible god-kings, then every publisher would go “that’s a little bit much, isn’t it?” but here we are

after all, when over the course of thousands of years a tiny island in the ocean becomes a part of a much greater landmass, it stands to reason that the residents of the island will never change the locations of their wooden buildings

there is literally no way two games could have a coastal village arranged around a concave coastline without one being a direct reference to the other, anyone who says otherwise is a pathetic nerd who hates joy 

i guess you’re right. as long as you disregard everything about it, it totally does fit

lol check out this bootlicking fuck who thinks more kids should die fighting for foreign oil

“Cartoonz 4 Adultz” really are a mixed bag in terms of art, huh? You can get something like Archer or Tuca & Bertie or you can get...this.

i think the next smash bros update should include a snow crash-style mind virus that kills any player that ever competes in a tournament. it’s the only way to be sure.

will this casual genocide of gamers never end

wow kinja really needs a downvote function

lol this dude spends so much time on reddit he doesn’t even know how to call an article’s author except “OP”

you used the word “joke” but you don’t seem to understand what it means

iga isn’t going to let you drink his cum if you keep calling him a god in review comments, sorry to break it to you

holy shit is there a cursed computer in some dorito-and-cockroach-infested basement composing these cut-and-pasted whinefests out of some sort of wretched neural network? buncha virgin-ass nerds thinking any criticism of a game is somehow an attack on them and an entire genre.

man, kickstarter’s ability to get nerds even more invested in the success of a game has really only made them more insufferable, huh?

hero says he deserves praise for sucking boss’ dick, never complaining while working at his dad’s law firm or whatever lol

she lost me with her dumb native american heritage bit. it proved to me that she doesn’t understand our current political moment and gave trump’s camp all the rope they need to hang her. it’s like liam neeson’s weird lynching story; completely apropos of nothing, obviously misguided and totally avoidable.

she’s even better at locking up young black men, so she’ll be popular here