I strung a guy on once (I usually try to work in the “I am a meat popsicle” phrase from Fifth Element) and finally just asked him if this really works on people or if he is just hoping its being sold by some old lady. His response was that I would be surprised at how often it worked. He then asked if I wanted in on…

If they have crappy cell service they must live right by me.

As soon as I suspect a girl on tinder is a bot I ask her if she wants to rap battle. I seldom get to have a rap battle. :(

Great, another specialist! I already need to find one for my turbo encabulator!

Did you ever notice poor people can’t get Porsches? They should be called Riches.

Seriously...Kim...dude... eat a Snickers.

It was called Fringe, and before the writers strike it was awesome.

I’d rather have this ‘83 400i from the same dealership for only $28.5k. I don’t know how much a manual swap and a tune up costs but it’s certainly less than than the $30k price difference. Not to mention this needs way less work.

These were $24,000 back in 2008

I dunno man, that looks like it’s based on the tried but true Wheels-N-Track system Hasbro perfected back in the 80s...

Somebody needs to step up their fake tank game.

Good lord I’ll never understand the metric system. :(

Life when so much simpler when you could just drain your blood from yourself, separate the red blood cells with a centrifuge, have your team carry it around in a cooler on dry ice while hiding it from officials, and then give yourself a transfusion of your own blood before a race.

Considering that these people thought side-mounted flamethrowers as an anti-carjacking defense was a keen idea, this is actually less alarming than it should be.

Learning from the best, apparently.