I was trying to think of a “if the parents had a boy it’s name would be...” but it’s hard to come up with a decent portmanteau.

No. It does not. 

So like ten+ dollars to make a gross hack sandwich?  That’s...certainly a thing that one could do, I guess.

Lizzo or anyone on her team insulting anyone about fatness isn’t just rich because Lizzo is morbidly obese herself. Look you can have standards for dancers around how much they weigh to the extent it impairs them doing their jobs.

exactly. 

Brooks doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who tips. Because he’s an asshole.

Tip: Apparently he did not. AND was called out for it too! I think I read two other stories on Gawker platforms with more/different info - thanks!

I was talking about Marnie’s concert alcohol bill but yeah he had enough booze to get drunk enough to think people wouldn’t call him out for posting that dumbass shit. Which was probably right around $50 worth.

He had three doubles - the only excuse for showing his ass like this. And it explains the total he claims.

I’m guessing your beers were around $15 and that double whiskey was over $20?

That check amount means he had at least THREE doubles - I can do math when it’s money. Brooks apparently cannot. Or be an empathetic human (from previous columns) - he’s an ASS.

God damn where are you that you can pay restaurant workers $22/hour? In my experience, calling out/being late/etc... is a part of the restaurant game and one of the reasons why running one sucks because you have to cover for that happening constantly.

Instead of “The Great Resignation” I prefer “The Fed Uprising”.

“Glad we solved all the other shit that was wrong here. {claps and rubs hands together} FLYING TAXI TIME.”

As an Ohio taxpayer who will be nearby this service to potentially use it. Fuck this is stttuupppiiddd. On the other side of the coin I kinda want to pilot one of these things. 

“State officials are saying that Joby will create over 2,000 jobs for the area” Uh-huh, I can make up numbers too—also pull them right out of the air with no basis in reality.  Not a prob’.

Speed is a rate. Telling me “high rate of speed” just lets me know you never got to enjoy high school physics. 

But what does that have to do with anything, here?

Ah I see. You don’t know what traffic stop means. It doesn’t mean that traffic has stopped.

It’s not a traffic stop if there is an incident literally occurring in the middle of the road. False equivalence is strong here.