Yeah it was such an amateurish oversight for Disney to forget to pay off all the voting Academy members even though they were already paying off every critic and online commenter. That kind of fly-by-night operation will never get the coveted Best Makeup award and a 25 percent score on Rotten Tomatoes.

Exactly. Oscar-winning film Suicide Squad distilled character motivations down to their purest essence: a 30-second sizzle reel accompanied by an intro card, obvious musical cues and a couple of lines that sound good in trailers. All that time spent in GotG where the Guardians get to know and trust each other was…

While you're there, could you pick up that red coin behind the piano? I'm sure nothing bad will happen.

At what point in this odyssey does a skinless Sonic the Hedgehog appear in ultra-realistic Sega Genesis graphics and proclaim "I AM GOD" while the Lavender Town theme from Pokemon plays creepy-slowly?

Shadow of the Colossus

no, no, you're confusing that with sex

Well, that's not on-brand.

Have you seen Hugh Jackman? I'd give Wolverine access, if you can pick up the subtle innuendo here.

Sense8 and Master of None and Kimmy Schmidt? This is a good month for people with no social lives.

I like how I knew exactly what that link was before I clicked it.

That a very contemporary raunchy comedy trailer, with a hip-hop accompaniment, ends with the card "Based on the Decameron by Boccacio" speaks to maybe a more optimistic estimation of the general literacy of the moviegoing public than I would credit.

It really is impressive how you used so many words to say absolutely nothing.

Don't worry, literally nobody cares about ethics in games journalism. Just harass women in the industry for no reason, get outraged whenever anyone puts social commentary in a game and demand sexy fetishwear for all female characters and you'll fit right in.

Is it the Zora Armor? I didn't want to use that because it felt like cheating. Also, the one time I did use it I ended up in a clearing with like two sentries targeting me so I was hesitant to deal with that again.

Kind of. I didn't really delve too deeply into the castle; I mostly just followed the logical path, which leads you through a few halls of the usual baddies and a couple of close fights against Lynels. There's something important in the basement which I won't spoil, but that's as far off the beaten track as I went.…

That's good. I didn't want to say that was my problem with P3's system because I half-expected somebody to tell me that you actually could control party members and I just hadn't figured it out.

I unexpectedly finished the main story of Breath of the Wild last weekend — I thought I had about half a castle left to conquer but then I basically just stumbled into the final boss' lair — so it's been Overwatch for me. I, too, am underwhelmed by all the unlockables, but I'm having a good time blasting robots.

Science would be nice, actually. Data, evidence, that sort of thing. Because I've talked to a bunch of Flattoes online and all they've given me is a bunch of anecdotes, misinterpretations of centuries-old experiments and accusations that I'm a shill who can only provide rock-solid data and mountains of universally…

(speaking of fun, is that meetup this weekend still a thing? i just found out I'm free saturday)

My town's chamber of commerce is right across the street from me. I don't think I can bomb the place, but I can probably egg it. That'll help, right?