Believing Page was more attracted to Blandy Cuteboy than Alia Shawkat in Whip It was the most suspension my disbelief has ever undergone.

"Welcome to the 2020 Olympic Games!"
*stadium consumed by enormous psychic explosion, killing every athlete*

I saw Kubo and the Two Strings a few hours ago. Loved it. There's a moment during the credits where they show how much work went into just one of the setpieces and it's astounding. Anyway, stuff I read before I saw it made me worry the story would be too video-gamey — Kubo has to collect three pieces of mystical armor…

I named my starting system DiveIntoTheRefreshingFlavorofCocaCola, so I think I'm part of the problem.

I generally stick with Light, Sazh and Vanille, mostly because I like them more than everyone else, but also because they complement each other pretty well. Sazh sets 'em up with attack buffs, Vanille knocks 'em down with defense debuffs and then just alternate between rav/rav/rav and com/com/rav until whatever you're…

…..there are melee attacks?

No, i was just doing a Zoolander bit this time

The game once spawned a settlement underwater. This was a bad thing, because I was on Planet Liquid Snake (in the Outer Heaven system, where every planet is named after a Metal Gear character) and I had parked on top of a mountain and then jumped off. I didn't know I could climb mountains with the jetpack, so my quest…

Once i bought a ship from a trader on a space station, and then i went back to my old ship to transfer my inventory. Turns out I pressed the wrong button; I transferred the inventory all right, but I accidentally reclaimed my old ship, which now had no resources. The new ship, somehow, defaulted back to its previous…

This is a sentiment I've seen a lot, and I have to ask: what did everyone think this game was going to be? I didn't even follow much of the prerelease info and I got the gist of "colossal procedurally generated universe, explore, find resources, name planets, be alone forever". I wasn't aware of the game ever making…

…but what do they think about male models?

Well I named a whole star system Ziggy Stardust. It wasn't even a shitty one; it had five whole planets and moon, and at least a couple of them were interesting. Where's my article?

Like this?

yeah, Lochte can't read Closed Captions

I saw this a few days ago and I liked it out of sympathy, because the Youtube comments for a woman doing comedy are incredibly vile. Also because I thought it was funny.

Yeah, they could have said Big Boss' MSF, but the name Snake is more associated by non-fans with MGS, they're the same person, and maybe get the fuck over it?

Blooper Surfing. Sure, people are going to cry "animal cruelty!" but high-speed obstacle course races while riding on a water-rocket-propelled squid is dangerous for people too. Besides, <topical> I think Bloopers thrive in polluted water, so there's still time to fit them in this year! </topical>

Actually it's because nobody wants to see a team of scrappy underdogs make a beautiful hail mary shot that gets rejected because the players' numbers weren't high enough. Also because the action stops whenever players get too close together. Also because it takes place in a giant water sphere but players only move in…

A-1's creative output has yet to do the same.

But how much candy can you eat?