"Papa Silvio," this name keeps coming up over and over again. Every day Papa's mail is getting sent back to me. Papa Silvio! Papa Silvio! I look in the mail, and this whole box is Papa Silvio! So I say to myself, "I gotta find this guy! I gotta go up to his office and put his mail in the guy's goddamn hands!…

I don't remember much from Skyward Sword, but I think I would have remembered that. When does Zelda make any sort of decision to close that particular triangle?

But did you see her in the cartoon? She's a complete bitch I mean she wouldn't even kiss Link even though he works so hard for her you guys, it's like excuuuuuse me, princess, but I thought you liked nice guys?????

Something I've always wondered: Ganon always kidnaps Zelda to force Link to rescue her and, by doing so, bring all three pieces of the Triforce together. Were the positions reversed, would Zelda rescue Link? It obviously depends on what iterations of the characters we're talking about, but I think the OoT and TP…

Real talk though, that hat is garbage. It's either super floppy and light, in which case it'll go over your eyes or get snagged or blow away, probably during combat, or it's leathery and starched, in which case it still doesn't provide any practical benefit. I think Link keeps it solely so he can stash a 40 when he's…

I think that was the princess actually, so it's good to know the entire nation is founded on principles of casual homophobia.

Yeah, in the original version of Majora's Mask, Link is definitely not wearing pants and his ass definitely clips through his tunic whenever he opens a chest. It's uncomfortable.
NOTE: Link is a child in Majora's Mask.

DDDD: That doesn't help at all!

Yeah, I wasn't a fan of how Uncle just…gets better? I'm fine with the King being cured and the tree boy returning to normal, but Uncle pretty much dies in front of you. Wishes or no wishes, reverting death is cheap — unless you have a fairy or something.

What the fuck is wrong with you??

For one, the coloring in the original seemed a lot more psychedelic and strange. The remake kinda mutes it and it's less interesting looking.

That's fair. I think a large part of my own dislike of the Water Temple comes from the fact that so much of it looks exactly the same as other parts of it. Before you get the compass it's super easy to get turned around or end up on the wrong floor when you're in the central tower bit.

*swallows fake suicide pill, throws revive pill into the fucking furnace*

Yeah I was way too much of a pussy to compromise my shield. And too stupid to realize the hammer makes shockwaves.

Ah yes the item whose sole purpose was to weigh down deadman switches. Fucking terrific.

But for all the wrong reasons….

Oh shit, do you remember the Switch Hook from Oracle of Ages? I always wondered how that mechanism actually worked as a kid. No part of it made sense.

Sort of? It's in Phantom Hourglass, but it's effectively the Hookshot. But you can make tightropes!

What bothers me is that we never had a Metal Gear Solid week and now it's too late.

I always went for it because I loved tearing around the Field and one-shotting Dodongos — but I don't think I ever used it against bosses. Same goes for Fierce Deity, which admittedly tears up the final boss, but isn't too good on half of the regular ones. Man, what was with that game and sucky superweapons?