Dad, that's his crotch.

I kind of wanted to say that no one around here (near Toronto) actually eats horse with any regularity, but then I remembered that my mom has complained about her horse-eating childhood on numerous occasions, so…

I was wondering what kind of slave labour a shrimp could perform, myself. That phrase raised so many questions.

To be fair, one of the Big Memes right now is saying "[thing I like] is gay culture", so you can just assume everything is gay to someone.

I get heatstroke from sitting outside for ten minutes in 25-degree (Celsius) weather. I can't even imagine wanting to broil yourself in the desert like that.

This is the reason there's no such thing as "the gay agenda". Even we don't know what the hell's going on.

IIRC, two of his staff members took over as de facto Press Secretary while Brady remained de jure.

My son is also named Burt.

That pisses me off so much. He ruined somebody else's life, but the real tragedy would be punishing him for it!

I know, but they still broke up and it was pretty hard for Maria, so she might not want to get back with him even if he does.

What, you expect Canada to win at the Summer Olympics?

Are places like Steak and Shake and Five Guys ubiquitous fast food joints in the States? Because there are about three McDonald'ses within a reasonable distance from my house, but I'd have to schlep like two cities over to get to a Five Guys (and I'm not even sure where the nearest Steak and Shake would be).

WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO YOUR HOME ON WHORE ISLAND

You know I don't speak Spanish!

"I believe it means…'a whale's vagina'."

DOROTHY MANTOOTH IS A SAINT

[Burger King immediately sues]

I'm honestly surprised more countries don't just put up a bid long enough to be "seen" trying for it and then pull it before they get stuck with the actual Games.

Good, now I can eat my McChickens in peace, without being reminded that there are people who exercise out there.

"Come on, community service!"