That or just once, where he’d simply nod and say “yup, knew that shit was gonna happen”.

George Carlin. Three times, because the realization Donald Trump is president would kill him again the first two.

Yeah, too much of this discussion is focused on potential civilian on civilian violence. Trump is the president and the commander-in-chief. Correct me if I’m wrong, but he has the power to declare martial law and then use the military to *ahem* “keep the peace.” Seems like more people should be talking about that…

We just need 30-50 good feral hogs.

So what is your solution? What is a relatively sane person supposed to do to prevent this from happening?

If only these pigs were that useful. 

I feel like the fact that Marine Kelvin has a back tattoo of the logo from the Vin Diesel/Ice Cube XXX trilogy of films is really under discussed. When did he get it? I assume it was sometime in between the first and second movies, but at what point? Was it intentional to get it in the same spot as Vin Diesel’s…

“The press conference is being drowned out by Chumbawumba” is just an amazing fucking sentence and I’m sure it will be my final thought before I die and I am hashtag-blessed for that. 

This is the correct take.

“Jean had to be exceptional. The DA had to be exceptional (and let’s be clear, statistically, pursuing a murder charge against a cop in the first place is exceptional).”

I think you’ve mistaken it for WetMD.

If she truly felt sorry she would have plead guilty and we wouldn’t have had to endure this trial. She’s only feeling “sorry” now that she lost her case.

If Bret Stephens shows up that whole building will be condemned

As a fellow Mavs Fan and Dallas resident this also made me very happy.  He also has a delightful Instagram account though I have not seen any dog pics on there.

Greg is such a wiener, though.

Biden’s favorite show...

I wouldn’t be surprised if his handlers dosed him up on Adderall to within an inch of his life before those “important” moments.  But, yeah, I would be shocked if he agreed to take part in any debates.  And the vast majority of his acolytes will lap up the feeble defense that Sanders/Biden/Warren would “play dirty” or…

I don’t know who would say he’s in trouble, although I guess it depends on what your expectations are. Given the name recognition and fundraising numbers, he could probably be doing better, but his polling numbers have been fairly consistent. I think he definitely has more solid, diehard support than Warren or…

They should just call him Bernie Schrodinger.