Just be sure to wear knee high boots if you don’t like your socks filling up with bullshit.

Parking away from everyone else never really works. I was in a parking lot in Laconia, NH, about 4-5 spaces away from all the other cars and some older lady (~65) in her husband’s 2-door Bentley parked right next to me and swung the door so goddamn hard it put a giant dent in my door. My wife was sitting in the car…

I did that, they still smashed in my door.

This.

If you live downtown or in a busy area this is not an option.

Just ask any Corvette owner. You can also park in the handicap spot, since they have nice wide side areas.

That doesn’t work. I used to work retail and was required to park my car in the part of the lot furthest away from the stores and someone would always end up parking their car next to mine even though there were empty spaces. At the time, I had what I considered a nice car (91 MR2 Turbo) would try to park far away and…

Eclipse/Talon and Laser’s were built in Illinois.

It 100% was based on the Eclipse.

I used to have an alarm that would cause the key fob to sound if something hit the car. Once it went off, and I walked over to the window to see someone had thrown their door into my car. I walked out and saw a big dent in the door, so I threw my full sized door into theirs as hard as I could

Parking farther away doesn’t work, there seem to be people that will go out of their way to park next to someone that has parked as far away as possible. I always park in the boondocks and have still gotten door dings and scratches from these assholes. Ive started parking angled in spots if I have a trailer because…

I parked 40 feet from all other cars and was rewarded by a plumbing truck with a steel C-Beam bumper hooking into the wheel well and then, having felt a bump, the driver pulled forward. To line up to the closest space to the door. 

...and he promptly moved all the way to the left and into the passing lane.

Parking further away is always my thought and it never works. I go to Costco weekly and always park as far away where no cars are. I have been hit twice by doing that without anyone leaving a note or taking responsibility. Its almost better to be close where there are more eyes so if someone does hit your car they…

like parking further away from other cars and walking the extra 20-50 feet into the building you’re going into.

Both of my Stealth’s were built in Japan, Rebadged Mitsubishi 3000GT

A bum with a billion dollars in the bank.

The opposite of a Pasteurist

Welcome to the new normal! Post-pandemic, nobody gives AF about anything at all, much less customer service. It no longer exists. Everyone embrace your new reality.

“floating shit shows”--well done.