[There are too many guns in this country now for me to go around yelling “FUCKFACE” at people I don’t know. It’s a real pity.]

In our house, we have asocially altered the theme lyrics to

The “how many burgers” question puts me in mind of an argument I have with my local casino waitress. She says, I can only bring you one drink while you bet on those poor exploited greyhounds. I say, okay I’ll have a boilermaker....