ME!!! BITCHES!!! 

How did they pull it off?  Easy, PJ didn’t call time-out.  Biggest tool in college sports.  

Do you mean to say if someone publicly spreads lies about you that it’s ok to react angrily?  Never.  

Not to get all Seinfeld, but what’s the deal with boosters?  Can’t you just be a fan on Saturday and then go back to your normal life?  I live in a college town and most of the grown ups here are OBSESSED with every aspect of our local and mediocre (on a good year) program.  I can’t decide if it’s funny or sad.   

I have a friend whose dad used to put his hard contact lenses under his tongue while he took a nap.  The 80's were the shit! 

You couldn’t be more disingenuous if you tried. You’re lockstep with your “Deadapin” brethren and readership which is fine but don’t lie. If Serena is male, white or God forbid Russian - it’s a nonstarter. Serena has always been an asshole who comes by it honestly - her old man is a classic cock knocker. The only…

What is it like to talk out of your ass at any given moment?  It must be quite exhilarating.  Good work on you.  

Our head coach stood about 5' 5" and would earhole you every now and again with an open hand and it you felt it the rest of practice.  Which i preferred over my position coach dining me in the helmeted forehead with his whistle. That shit rang like Big Ben!  Of course this was the olden days — 1984.

I’m too lazy to change my name to Jalen Ramsey-Truther and no one will read this anyway - but here goes: 1.) Wyoming played Iowa not Iowa State and although Allen didn’t play particularly well, he only had 2 picks. 2.) You want to brag about playing at FSU? Iowa, this tiny school in which your tiny brain tried to…

A lot teams passed on him.  He’s a slot receiver who thinks he’s Antonio Brown.  Plus he’s an asshole.  

Why is this guy your hero?  He’s just awful and plain stupid.  Everyone knows Iowa State doesn’t have a football team.  

Urlacher should have worn a tie with the names of the 73 black Chicagoans shot over the weekend.

Why so confraatuonal?  Settle down.  

He’s not a bully. He’s the boss. 

But we are good with Trevor Noah?  Ok. 

He’s a cockknocker and I fucking hate the Cowboys. 

Montreal, Portland, Salt Lake, Mexico City, Las Vegas, New Orleans

Nice work. Half the Deadspin staff just came in their skinnyjeans reading your comment.

I found him!

His left butt cheek is 240!