David, why are you typing out of the side of your fingers?

Kevin, how did you get roped into reviewing Whitney?

Dennis: Dee, uh, uh, you bitch!

The cold open was fabulous! The jokes were coming at me so fast. I couldn't make my hands move fast enough. There was too much awesomeness to handle. I tried to keep up, buy my brow just got sticky with sweat.

Tom: My company's no better than a site where you ask a fake butler to Google something for you.

I've always thought footlongs weren't feet-long enough.

Chris: Big D, the fat bastard—he's never going to see iPhone 5.

Actually, I think they're occupying us.

Tessa: Yeah, go run off that mint.

Realizing America was tired of the show opening with stereotypical jokes about hipsters, the writers decided to open the show with stereotypical jokes about old people.

That's why I said "getting to."

Marshall: "I want me inside this house so bad." "I"m coming . . . to terms with this decision."
The first thing I thought about was Brad's line from Happy Endings's Halloween episode last week: (to hot tub) "I want me inside you."

Haha, yes, I noticed that, too. From afar I thought it was his ex-wife (not that we know what she looks like), but once he stood to see Brody to the door, I realized it was Rice.

It's as if Rick were speaking my thoughts about the Sophia-disappears and Carl-gets-shot story arcs when he was convincing Hershel to do the transfusion: "You're wasting time."

Saul Berenson is the man: "You're screwing up my rug."

When he kills guys and says "KItty got wet!" how could you not love him?

Clearly you've never heard of a rhetorical statement or apostrophizing.

April: "Blood orphans."
Andy: "No blood orphans. . . . I don't know what that is."

Dean: "Trick or dean! . . . Halloween week! . . . All Saints' Day Month!"
(I saw the preview last week, but the lines were still funny.)

The cold open was really well done and highlighted my favorite part of the show. Jeremy Sisto and Jane Levy have such great father-daughter chemistry.