This guy and his family ought to be paying for his own stint in jail. Hell, they should be sponsoring the whole facility.

Reminds me of a short story where someone very succinctly said ‘Are you ugly ‘cos you wicked, or you wicked ‘cos you ugly? Which it be?’

The thing that really ticks me off about these ‘luxury’ candles is that they keep putting them in containers I like and want! I go into a store, pick up a pretty jar or bottle or tin, but when I open it it’s full of overpriced, over-perfumed wax!

Fondue, you can melt in my arms anytime.

oh no, a dropped stitch!

Geez, considering the one time I wore a skirt with a train outside, I was wondering how to keep dirt off the petticoat. How did this fashion even become popular if you were dragging stuff into your house and all over the floor every time you wore it?

Can we start calling the NRA a terrorist organization now?

I’m pretty sure they were more than ‘part of’ the joke. It sounds a lot like they were the joke.

Simple, every object has the potential to be a hat! So if your attempts to make a pony failed, put it on your head. BAM it’s a hat.

I think what eats books and leaves is trying to do is redefine what being American means - that what it should mean to be American is to not do these things.

It’s going to be all the poop/vomit stories that weren’t fit to print, isn’t it?

This panel looks like it wandered out of Tank Girl.

I’ve wanted to be a cat lady since I was 8. 26 years later, I have achieved my goal! I only have one cat, but that’s enough to join the club, right? This is Piccalili, aka Picklecat. I think she’s a medium haired Egyptian Mau.

or a fatberg.

then do-si-do and round about, and then you throw your partner out.

Thanks! Her original name was Sally, but I wanted something more suited to a Jellicle Cat, you know? And since piccalili is a type of pickle, her nickname works on 2 levels!

I’ve only had Piccalili for a month, so she hasn’t accumulated a lot of names yet. So far she’s also Pickle, Picklecat, Tinycat and Fluffo.

Breadsticks. For the mouth part of your face.

Can someone get me this for my Christmas present? Please?