I’m actually Chinese Canadian, and I helped out a guy in uni when he wanted ‘death’ and ‘taxes’ carved onto his pair of bokken. I went ahead and carved ‘death’ and ‘rent’ because I can’t actually read chinese before I thought to ask my parents how to write ‘taxes’ properly. Fortunately, he thought it was pretty funny.

Used to? What happened? Did one of them shatter and a piece got in your eye?

Could this incident BE any more Oniony?

Specifically, this museum.

But Breadstix R Us is my favourite restau-pseudonym!

Are they tangy yellow beverages?

Also, shrimp/prawn crackers are a thing. A delicious, delicious thing.

I think at some point I would have given up and made ‘oil-free’ cake out of yellow furniture foam and caulk and Oil-Free Actor would just have to pretend to eat it. Then I would have force fed the foam cake to him after finding out what an imbecile he was.

That sounds ADORBZ and I wish they’d left the bat alone to snuggle with its beanie friends.

this woman looked like a melted toad who’d been finger painted by especially cruel and talentless children

I don’t rightly know how you use them for anything, but then my parents didn’t get me one so I didn’t get an early start on studying hydrogeology.

This shit reminds me of part of a motivational audiobook a guy played for me once. It was on “becoming wealthy”. I can’t remember most of it, but I distinctly recall that it stated that wealth was a state of being. To not be poor, you just had to convince yourself that you weren’t, that you could be wealthy, think…

Will there be a lawnmower as a weapon? Can I recreate the scene at the end of Dead Alive?

Ohh, that explains a lot.

Where did I say that?? I’m sure they still belong to Rare even if Rare has been making games for the Xbox in recent years.

I can’t believe Banjo-Kazooie aren’t on the roster yet. They should think about adding Conker too! But my vote is for Amaterasu.

"I never want my weight to distract people from what I do"

illicit an armed response

Unfortunately, as a Chinese-Canadian I have an added language barrier when talking to older Chinese people , and TBH the ones I have talked to are hardly progressive in their thinking.