This is the most inane advice.  Of course you should clean out your ears but don't use a qtip or similar brand.  Use a cotton swab with a relatively small bud end that you can get at Japanese or Asian stores.  These smaller sizes allow you to get into the ear to clean out wax and moisture.  Best to do this just after…

If god didn’t want me to clean out my ears with a qtip why did he put a button in there that feels oh so so good when I hit it?

“I don’t understand. How is a movie about people getting aroused by car crashes supposed to be a trite statement against racism? This won Best Picture?”

Yippee? Not “Oh Boy!”? Christ, it’s not even hard to do this. 

How on earth did you make it through this entire article without making an awful pun about “using the Royal Wii”?

I think the two-parter finale is really mediocre to sometimes outright bad, but I fuckin love the last scene, so it kinda redeems it for me. Them ending up in jail and rehashing the first conversation in the show was just pitch perfect to me. It’s just that everything preceding it sucked.

That reminded me of my all-time favorite Onion article.

The fact that I can’t stand the guy is good enough for me to believe he’d actually make for a good JC. Also, have Linden Ashby be his agent!

An actor wants to be featured more in a major film? HOLD THE PRESSES

All that work and he could have just typed “Metroid Prime”, highlighted it, and selected Papyrus.

As long as he named it “Metroid_Prime_Logo-Final-final53.ai” then he’s still my hero

The term is “comedy gold.”

female

HDMI is a mess. That, and the absolute insanity of modern TV settings. There is nothing “consumer” about a lot of it. I love my C1 OLED, but I REALLY appreciate the simplicity of my playing my old consoles on my CRTs.

Sounds pretty gay to me.

“The Steve Carell-starring sitcom aired its second season back in February, apparently”

Don’t be silly. They are good sources of lots of money because they have money. There’s always another degree, another program to run, another super power to attain on the bridge to TOTAL FREEDOM. You either give them money or you work 80 hours a week for them and get in debt for all the courses you take.

Yeah, they’re open to everybody’s money!

This is my final feature for The A.V. Club. Thank you all for reading my music writing. It's been such a joy to give the music section the love it deserves.