HEL-LOOOOOOOH-OOOOOH!

You're operating under the assumption that someone actually wanted Papa John's.

Marky Mark

SOMEONE GET SETH ROGEN ON THE PHONE RIGHT NOW!

I was watching Man Seeking Woman this weekend and I wondered: Do you think other comedians really like having Fred Armisen on their show, given his reputation? Or do you think he bullies his way in?

[mixing up Radiohead and Muse]

Peyton's Place

Joke's on you: I don't actually care about basketball! I only like baseball and mocking New England!

Good pizzagate joke: http://www.avclub.com/artic…

I love my FedEx guy cause he's a drug dealer and he doesn't even know it… and he's always on time.

Check the basement! If there are two people I'd expect to have a kiddie porn dungeon under a pizzeria, it's Papa John and Peyton Manning.

They should have asked for a bucket of nose clams fresh from the sea. Sweet, delicious nose clams that are looking for a home if you follow me. These are the kind of nose clams that make you want to dance the night away. These are the kind of nose clams that you crush up into a line of white powder. And you snort them…

I love H2G2's brand of highly verbal humor. Love it, love it, love it.

He inched down the hallway as if he'd rather be yarding up it.

*Mutters* Goddamn rednecks.

A construction job of that magnitude would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think…

True! But forgivable, since their last tour was one of the most electrifying rock shows I've ever witnessed

You gotta get rid of one of the end ones! You can't go cutting a center one out!

1. Jon Spencer Blues Explosion—“Bellbottoms”

Sarah Silverman remembers. Pepperidge Farm doesn't give two shits.