I felt like last year's was the best yet! But perhaps as a Clevelander, I need to laugh through tears.

Nooooooooooooo, no one would eeeeeeeeeever do thaaaaaaaaaaaaat to you.

Listen, I'm no great Queen fan, I know the hits, I know some of the deeper cuts, but jesus, man, this opinion is so wrongheaded I strongly suspect that you must consciously remind yourself to inflate and deflate your lungs lest you suffocate.

So long as Magary exists, there is hope. Why Your Team Sucks is due soon.

So since it's been apparent for a while, it would be false for me to say, "A.V. Club became Gawker so gradually I hardly noticed."

My dad likes to tell me how he used to program in Fortran… with PUNCH CARDS!

Also, you wind up betrayed by College-Educated Wo Man.

Unlike modern games, which have to rely on being arbitrarily repetitive to pad out the play time! *Goes bowling with cousin.*

Well, consider also that those games are the successors to arcade games, where you were supposed to lose all your lives every two or three minutes.

And Triangle Man. Triangle Man hates Mega Man. They have a fight, Triangle Wins.

When Drill Man jumps on Hard Man's back, whoo boy, watch out.

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a Master Hunter your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get Rock or Roll to marry you!

Obvious comment-avatar synergy.

I will choose free will.

Mega Mega!

We're talking two different games. I'm playing PKMN Go.

And I still haven't caught a goddamned Porygon.

My mom said the same thing in 1988, saying I'd go blind.

"What kind of sick fucks have a pencil sharpening room!?"

This Will Arnett thing is pretty funny.