"I used to watch Scrubs after school every day."

Arabic, Persian, who cares, emirite?

But it does mix well with rage, self-loathing, and self-fulfilling prophecies. So, in a way, he's brought Philadelphia together.

If you're Sevillan on the pitch, what are you on the bench?

The Colts also submitted "a puddle of vomit, an empty bottle of Jack Daniel's, and a car wrapped around a telephone pole," which is expected to pass by unanimous vote.

If anyone knows about getting 9 points on one drive, it's Jim Irsay.

I, for one, see nothing wrong with the Patriot Act that would increase video surveillance of everything.

St. Louis–style barbecue involves direct grilling rather than indirect heat and smoking

of the seven best lip balms, which one do you prefer to use on late november games in pittsburgh?

St. Louis hate is goddamned hilarious...unlike this article. It's like the Alpha Betas got together to make fun of retarded third graders, demonstrating that both groups have about the same IQ. After Rob shared his rambling thoughts (desires?) about marrying sisters, I thought he was going yell out: NERDS1!!!11

Humblebraging was invented in St. Louis, it's not that they're doing it wrong, its that you translated it improperly when you stole it from them.

Finding this Wikipedia page and sending it to Pinkham and realizing that our fun making fun of it would work as an article was the best thing ever.

Not possible, because I don't plan on dying in St. Louis.

I am not interested in seeing Cthulhu's baby pictures.

Hopefully Chip Kelly remembers to unplug his XBox One before saving his progress.

He loves building college rosters so much that he's guaranteeing he'll be doing just that a year or two from now.

If you're running the spread offense, I can't imagine anything more spread out that placing your players all over the country on different teams.

Here is a screenshot from the video. Its of Dez Bryant attempting to rob 80,000 people in Green Bay. But he doesn't get away with it.

He did join the CIA, obviously. The NFL has just been a cover identity the last few years. That's why he's been so bad. See the truth, Samer. If that's even your real name. I bet you're CIA too, that's why you're covering for him. Somebody call Pete Carroll, we need to get to the bottom of this.

One problem with establishing liability for the NFL would seem to be the exact scenario this guy is laying out: players who took the vast majority of hits in high school and college, who played only a year or two in the league.