Would they barter the studio for a brilliant red Barchetta?

*plays "Limelight" backwards*

Pass. That's barely a group scene, let alone bukkake.

I'm seeing double here! Four boots.

*leaks a little black goo in excitement*

"Rounding third" is when your sexual partner is as fat as baseball stadium.

I believe you're thinking about John Ritter in The Comeback Kid.

Ground Floor: Never forget!

He probably gets tired of having people reference that Desmond Dekker song, but just imagine how much life sucks for Native American film director Joe Who Let the Dogs Out.

Buoyant!? No fat chicks.

FACT: Dean Israelite never gets profiled as a jihadist by airport security.

Gord Vader

I'd rather jump start a fjord …

Plus, who in his right mind would pay $200K for an American car built in the early 1980s?

The terribleness of NBC's Aquarius probably killed him.

When I see "American" and "wizard" together, I think of the Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan.

Degrassi's episode count is reaching one per Canadian citizen.

Pizza makes me pillowy soft and immune to fluctuations in ambient temperature. Obesity does that to a man.

This is what happens when stoned product designers run out of pizza.

Some people point and laugh at women all the time.
— Fox News movie critic