Fucking white people, man.

All but four of those are strictly mens names. Most are also terrible names. So well done to the parents for letting your daughters know how badly you wanted a son.

“Dallas Creamer” is not a real person’s name. This is a sexual act where you wear a cowboy hat and jerk off in your partner’s coffee.

The Stanwick family, considered “one of the first families of lacrosse,”

I don’t think you’re alone now

“When it stinks everywhere you go, shit’s on you.”

Oh, it wasn’t ritzy or anything. It was just a tall building.

I don’t know man, that’s a pretty literate reference. I think JaVale wins that round handily.

McGee responded an hour later by insinuating that Shaq was a minstrel, and comparing him to Bert Williams, a black vaudeville entertainer who performed in blackface and played stereotypically degrading parts during his career.

You’re not fooling me, cop.

As the Years Go Passing By- Santana

In middle school my friends and I hoarded dozens of snowballs behind the park wall on Central Park West and then pelted NYC buses as they went by. Some braked a ton, and eventually two cops chased us away. They caught my slowest friend and he lied about what school he went to. That school got a 1 hour assembly meeting…

I hated my neighbor’s cats for always shitting in my sandbox so I exacted revenge. I rounded both Snowball and Tiger up and sprayed them with water and rolled them in the shit-filled sandbox. Easily less than an hour later I’m standing on my neighbor’s stoop apologizing then washing off shit-covered cats.

I graffiti’d my own carport. I denied doing it. The problem? The graffiti was my name.

Your list left out two very crucial entries Drew:

“Where the fuck do you put your jacket then? I’m not even pretending I have a good answer. Do you wear it? Do you put it in your lap? Do you put it on the toilet tank? Sometimes I put the jacket right on the shitter floor and it’s just the worst. I want to apologize to the thing.”

No love for John Waters’ disgusting thin mustache?