Because clickbait.

Have you ever read any other article anywhere?

Amen. This site is the worst.

Kotaku has been far from respectable for a while now.

Watch out, you’ll offend all the 12 year olds with their wacky sex puns.

I’m genuinely concerned for you.

Said the 13 year old.

Ruh roh. Someone from io9 found their way over too.

Who let someone from Gawker/Jezebel post here? This is stupid. Stick to what you’re good at.