I think her name is Rachael.

I learned the difference last summer, when I drowned in the lake at my cabin.

By that logic, elocution would mean politely talking somebody to death.

Re. monkey glands

It ain’t easy amusing youself when you don’t have TV.

Did you know that computers come in male and female models? Neither did I until I saw a mechanic walk toward one with an oil can—and the computer was backing away yelling: “Death before dishonor!”

I'm morbidly curious about the wife beating jokes. I'm not alone in this..... Right?

Ohhh, those darn sneak thieves! Makes me soo angry...

+1 #NoFilter

Just keep it at your private island. Duh.

I just find it hilarious is all. Like, “Here’s this awesome yacht for the everyman. The owner gets to be trapped inside his vehicle while his friends party it up without him.”

I think we all know you posted this column from your yacht, Mr. Novak

How are the driver and passenger supposed to get out of the car in that picture? Or are they just the chauffeurs and the owners are chilling on the deck in front?

You don't have a yacht? Just sell a few of your houses and buy one.

No but Biff Tannen will be. And who want’s that?

Touché.

Technically, portrait mode has been a thing since people first started painting portraits.

That’s why it was a joke.

So people were recording in portrait mode before portrait mode was even a thing.

Exactly. Once he got back to his own time and realized his mistake, he went back further in time and invented that Casio camera just to cover it up.