Carlos is going to lick your eyeballs to keep them most and disease free.

With a hand washing fetish.

Why would you take the time to type up your buddy’s bullshit?

My next burner is going to be a 20-year-old named Carlos.

Clint needs to hike those pants up a little higher, his nipples look cold.

I just can’t get past that gigantic plastic spoiler that looks like the tray on a high chair. Plus, most of the ones I see are grey from UV damage.

Son, it’s not like I was talking about your girlfriend. Or boyfriend. Or puppy.

They’re not bad from the front, but the ass end of those cars is pure fugly.

A bit early to be this drunk, don’t you think?

Stef seems like a lovely person, I don’t hold her love of ugly cars against her.

Yeah, I’m not saying people shouldn’t drive them, just saying they’re ugly.

You do you, boo.

I didn’t say you shouldn’t like it. I just said it was ugly.

You kiss your mother with that mouth?

You should be ashamed of yourself for bowing to big eyedrop.

Gawd, those were ugly.

You don’t read so gud.

No, they don’t. Proper hand sanitation does, however.

Pfffft, it may be flippant, but at least it’s scientifically accurate, unlike your friend’s crap advice.

It’s not weird, it’s just stupid.