I hear you - I am more of a mindset of some version of multiple FWBs these days as well, rather than boyfriends or a spouse (I’m 0 for 2 on that experience). Three years ago my world was devastated when I let a man I thought was my “compromise” (I’ve always been a fool for love; in this case my feelings were mild but…

I so wish I had a cell phone and all the helpful links available today. I lived alone for 12 plus years. Dating little not knowing how to be alone and happy. Meeting the wrong type of men and allowing myself to be hurt by not thinking that I was worthy of being loved and treated with respect. I finally found a really…

I expected this to be another article ranting about how awful dating today is. (And my god, it is) I loved the positive spin and your positive outlook. I am happily in a relationship after 4 years of being single and because I am so happy with my life as as a single person, it is sometimes hard for me to be in a…

Firstly, thank you so much for writing and sharing this, and “When Can I Say I’ll Be Alone Forever?” I don’t think I’ve personally identified more with any other posts on this entire site than these.

Great article! I’m around the same age, and have had trouble finding a relationship with a guy that actually wants to have a relationship.

Here’s the thing about doing all that hard, hard work: your life is, ostensibly, better than it was. You have interests. You got an apartment. Maybe you’re in better shape. Hopefully, you have good friends you hang out with. Keep on living that awesome life, and whether or not you ever connect with someone, you will…

Until I met my now husband, I sort of assumed I would be alone because I felt horrible about myself. The loving myself part only came after I discovered that other people loved me, and that I could be desired, that too. I never really had to deal with unsolicited advice about my love life though.

There are worse things in this life than missing out on romantic love. I have said this to young women before. None of them believe me. But it is true.

I feel the same way, though I’ve never married and last lived with a partner nearly 10 years ago.

Aimee:

Your first essay resonated with me so much I bookmarked it and on occasion reread it, or send it to friends to try to help them understand what it feels like to be single for so long (most don’t pay attention and proceed to offer advice on what I should do to find someone).

Right? A lot of times all you can do is grit your teeth and trust when others can see the beauty of who you are because you just can’t right now.

I’m in the opposite situation. I’ve spent most of my adult life paired up because I was insecure and I thought it was expected of me. Most of these partners were jerks and the ones that wanted to marry me expected that marriage would put me in a cage.

Yeah, I am no longer with the college boyfriend but I have not parted with the love letters. They are really sweet to read and give me nostalgia to the bone (not for him, but for that young me). It’s nice to have something tangible, I’m going to say it: kids today are missing out on the art of a letter. Texts and…

I crossed 40 last year and outside a relationship that lasted about a year, I have been single pretty much my entire life. Like many others here, I learned to appreciate myself, be good company to myself, and survive in the solitude. Yes, it gets lonely at times. Yes, it would be nice to have someone there with you as…

Yes to this. All we have is ourselves on this ride, and no matter who is with you, what job you have, where you live, you still have to be with yourself. Being able to bond with other people will enrich your life, but even the best of friendships can tear your heart out. Life can be really long and full of intense…

Thank you for the thoughtful essay. I have been single for all of my adult life. Short-lived relationships here and there, but nothing more than a few months. I have wonderful relationships with people at work, close friends who would drop everything to be there for me, and even sweet relationships with my parents,…

Dating is weird and stupid, you never know who you’re going to get. Someone may seem like they’re looking for something long term, then ghost, someone might say they’re looking for a hook up, then plan your wedding by the second date.

I’m sorry you feel so bereft right now despite all your hard work. That’s really shitty. *net hugs* I’m also sorry you ended up meeting a bunch of shitheads.

When I was single, I comforted myself by saying that there are multiple people that could be right for any one person, and it’s just a matter of finding and…

Aimee, I’m not going to tell you you’ll find someone or you won’t die alone or the right guy is out there but you need to relax.