“Stick is candy!”

Speaking for everyone, where’s xanax?

What else are you going to do?  Work?  

the thing that most powerful people want to do with power is use it to tell other people to shut up 

Man, I love people who self-own through being hilariously inept. You know, pumpkin thieves, thin-skinned vulture capitalist owners of blog sites, those kinds of folks.

I too made a lot of shitty decisions as a 19 year-old.

I guess Koeman doesn’t know about them?

Champions League semifinalists Ajax?

This is another reason to be amazed LeBron went to 8 straight Finals.

Directly into my veins.

Maybe they would have been more aggressive with a better QB.

“We” have gotten Michigan’s number over the last 15 years, but goddamn Ohio State. Every season, regular season, BIG 10/11/12 Championship, whatever — every time, I make brats tell my wife this is going to be a great game...and every time...shit this goes back to Cardale Jones lighting us up. I just, man, what the…

“

So I am speaking from long experience when I say that the Washington bandwagon is very likely to be the most insufferable one ever to come rolling down the pike.

On behalf of all the Nationals fans and the residents of the District of Columbia, I invite you to kick rocks, you bitter, angry hack. 

So this was fake, but the Bad Boy Mowers Gasparilla Bowl and the Cheribundi Boca Raton Bowl were legitimate? What a time to be alive...

Sure, but I wouldn’t be upset at all if this happens:

Hi, is there a “TL;DR” version of this piece? I did read it, but I’m not really sure what this article is about.

MLB instructed the home team to wear alternate jerseys so the president is the only obvious white national in the stadium.