Meanwhile Harrison maybe probably killed a guy.

St Bernard Tomic is marvelous

Mueller filed a lawsuit against Swift in September for falsely accusing him of groping her at an event in 2013; his suit claims the real alleged groper was actually his boss Eddie Haskell.

Good tennis doggie names: Ruffer Nadal, Roger Terrier, Novak Dogovic, Fido Dognini, Poodle Cuevas, Federico Dogboners

Makes sense, because tennis scoring is already in dog points.

I want to think, in some way, that was the meta-commentary in this move — Chris Rock turning the joke around on the people who claim they’re all for diversity in Hollywood without actually thinking about what that means.

I’ve heard a lot of guys brag that if they ran, they’d trip over their own dick, but this is the first time I’ve actually seen it happen.

what about you guys’ TRUMP for “President of the United States” ey? That’s a fcuking fairytale.

“Now try jerking off with splintery work gloves! HAHAHAHAHA!”

So much for the Ural sex.

The father said she was so disturbed about the secret footage that she vomited before agreeing to an FBI request that she watch the nude videos so agents could find clues about who took it.

Doubtful! Maybe read the Headline next time—it’s called Batman FIVE Superman (turdboy).

Mostly agree on 2-4, but I can’t call someone who has cursed this cultural landscape with the harmful fucking garbage spouted by “doctors” Oz and Phil “an exemplary human being.” I can forgive her bullshit feel-good platitudes and her questionable taste in literature, but not that shit.

I think it’s awesome how the players are allowed to add patches to their jersey which let people know which sexual fetishes they’re into. Good for the NFL.

Prosecutor: “Now Mr. Pierre-Paul, is the man who tweeted your medical records in the courtroom today?”

“Wait, that’s not the right move?”

-Charlotte Hornets co-owner

It’s a simple question. If you were a hotdog, would you eat yourself?

Female wants nothing to do with situation, Bryant calmly proceeds.

Pretty sure that’s just Greg Oden doing the “helicopter”

Ah yes, I remember the CTE machine. Wait, do I? Are there horse socks?