Ironic he is now at Penn State.

Players shall sit out the first half of the season opener.

Seriously. 14 dead hookers in a shipping container and no one wants the case. One Ripken and every cop in a 50 mile radius is on the scene.

OH MY GOD

Trust me, I'm at heart a no-fun second-wave Dworkin-esque feminist and in my daytime hours I am liable to obsess over the problematic nature of ANY kind of sexual objectification.

pro entertaining tip...if your invite requires a manifesto, it probably isn't a good idea. Get a cake, a couple bottles of wine, and call it a day.

I cannot think of anything less fun-sounding than attending this woman's party, or going to a strip club in general. It just ain't my bag.

Ok so I know that this NOT the point of the article but bathroom attendants drive me absolutely bonkers.

This is really serious news and quite shocking. Who made Jagr a Count?

Jagr said that this reminded him of the whole smallpox epidemic from earlier in his career.

Look, if I want to hear from a governor who is serious about doughnuts, it's going to be New Jersey.

Your bathroom trips are short because you are a heathen—unlike our person of interest—and don't wash your hands.

"I don't mind that they're doing it, just that they're doing it"

Sure dude. The team's reputation has been torn to shred the last week without one piece of evidence. come try and get the crown.

Next Bob will demand an apology from anyone who has suggested his young girlfriend is only with him for his money.

Miko: This is like putting these players through 2 car crashes a week! They don't care about the players, they care about the money!

I wonder what she's trying to say.

I'm just going to share this story from last Saturday. A good money-making night- the restaurant is packed, we're trying to turn over tables. Of course half of them are fucking campers. So when another 8 top of 40 something year olds roll in, I'm begging my manager to give them to me. Bright eyed and with an imaginary…

"I really hate to be that guy and to stick up for coffee latte lady"

The customer is always right! If they tell you to grill it until it's tender, you grill that shit until its fucking tender, asshole!