I wanted to cry at that dinner table, because keeping up the farce that I’m still waiting means staying still. It means diminishing the life I do lead, which is a good one. I’ll never be free to say that I’m alone forever, only that I’m in a holding pattern until real life begins.

I’m 37 and never been married. I have had few serious relationships in my life, and it’s absolutely terrifying to me that I really might be alone for the rest of my life.