I salute you, CapnBananaPants, but alas, the article did not open with a SARCASM tag and they are all off and running.

Yes. Yes, it does.

Sad that he was later arrested for rustling.

Yeah, I was really wondering... do they bounce?

Hey, that's our magic job-creatin' guy you're talking about there!

My main question: why do you invite anyone to your wedding?

Went for a sleep study, sure they'd tell me I had sleep apnea. Surprise! Restless legs. It's a thing. AND hypothyroid. Meds have helped remarkably. So if you can afford it, get the sleep study.

The voice that goes with this is the "Vend - o - face" from a million years ago on the Muppet Show. http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Vendaface

Okay, let me get this straight: EITHER: he killed her because his $150 (which he gave her voluntarily) was being stolen. In that case he is a very cheap thug indeed, to kill for $150. OR: he killed her because he "bought" her for the evening and her body, his rented property, was being stolen. By her. The owner of…

Some of this stuff changes all the time. Sodium was recently declared "not a villain."

But unfortunately, there are a LOT of grackles.

Kinda thinking maybe I bookmark this story for reference next time comedians get going on how rape is just hilarious.

Would somebody PLEASE write a program that measures your breasts with lasers and then 3D-prints the perfect fitting most comfy bra in the world for each woman who wants one? Thank you.

Yes, the story seems to be missing the real question, which is: why would anyone put Joe Walsh on camera and ask for his opinion?

Here we see the barrel catcus (Ferocatctus twistyspinus) beginning to bud in the spring. Soon the whiskers will be visible. Water sparingly to prevent sudden explosion.

I remember that Slate article! But the thing I remember about it most was his description of a Pina Bausch choreography, saying that a female dancer waved a red dress in front of the men, and then finally put it on — and he found it "primal." Damn straight it was primal — the dance was to Stravinsky's Rite of Spring…

Clearly, this wouldn't have happened if she had had a gun. Oh, wait, no, I mean if HE had had a gun. Er, or if the bystanders had had guns... no! it's the substitute teacher. Got it. All substitute teachers should have guns. There you go.

Next up, the FDA breaks the story that smoking might be bad for you. Filmstrip at 11.

There's a petition about this out on change.org, if anyone is interested.

WHAT are they doing with the information? They want to measure "wellness." They are not measuring "wellness." They are merely invading privacy.