yup. i'm the one using the big, educated words and proper grammar, who loves quality and far-out foods, who can talk about a million different subjects with equal fervor, who loves to host, who loves etiquette books, who critiques the world around me and believes i have the resources to make it a better place through…

No. No one making 250k is middle class. It is possible, at any income, to live outside your means. Just because someone making 250k is comparing themselves to someone making 500k does not make them middle class. The median income in Manhattan (not NYC, just Manhattan) is 67k. No one making 3.7 times the median income…

I'm not saying it's polite or acceptable. What I'm saying is that a person with money may have subtle ways of being rude, and that it isn't any better. My guess is that this family was letting her know that she was an outsider, and she lost her cool.

Eh.

BTW: some amazing things that my husband has brought to the table, due partly to his upbringing:

I'm having similar issues too! Just the other day my boyfriend mentioned some study about the psychology of poverty and how it makes it impossible to think long term, always thinking you're going to lose everything, even when you are no longer poor. I nodded my head and he said "Oh, you've ready the study?" I wanted…

DUDE. I had a friend from Cali who claimed to be middle class, but her family owned a plane. "But, like, a small plane." Um no. We own a 2008 ford focus so...not from the same class, girl.

It rubs almost everyone the wrong way. If I were to ever (literally ever) refer to someone who simply didn't have the opportunities I have had as an 'uncivilized' person, especially just because they're PERHAPS more blunt (though I'm not sure Asshole Commenter has ever met my aunts and uncles. Brash and blunt are two…

This. I'm getting married and my fiance pointed out to me that I might want to pick a theme for my home so it would match (he's from an upper middle class family). I had NO idea this was a thing. I'm from an immigrant family so this isn't really something they think or care about.

Phrases like "uncivilised person" are never going to rub the majority of the population the right way. That's a really gross thing to say about anybody.

I know. Why can't all the poors just be merry like a big band of gypsies? The nerve!

Totally. It's tough throughout your relationship, but I've found that those issues can REALLY come to a head at the wedding.

I realize that. As I mentioned, people have made this known to me, in subtle and unsubtle ways.

This is how I feel about a lot of the people commenting on here and a lot of people I grew up with. My mother and I moved to New Jersey when I was 5 and we were dirt poor, although she did her best to make me want for nothing and fit in at school. A lot of people I grew up with and am still friends with think…

There might be another way of looking at this. You could say that people from working class backgrounds are "bitter" or "jealous" due to their struggles, but you could also look at this as a difference in communication styles. Blue collar folks- and I am including myself here- tend to be straightforward in our…

Oh my God, Christmas with my in-laws is a bizarre experience. I think I got 18 gifts from his parents this year. EIGHTEEN. My parents got me, like, 3 or 4 things, which I think is totally adequate for an adult.

Here's my recommendation:

Ah, I love the cluelessness of "middle class" Californians like that. It does make it a lot harder to deal with a socioeconomic difference when the wealthy person won't even acknowledge that they are wealthy. At least if they are aware of it, they will realize that the expensive restaurant or activity they're…

damn near everyone thinks of him/herself as middle class. It's crazy.

Although my husband and I didn't come from different classes, there is a notable difference in how our families spend money, specifically at Christmas. Christmases for my family consisted of a few small gifts (scarf, socks, a cd) and one nice thing (maybe a bicycle or a pair of roller blades). Whereas Christmas at…