The last neighbourhood I lived in I called it the ghetto. Not that it’s the ghettoest place in town or on Earth.

Sigh... Matthew Perry... I was so disappointed to learn you are a monumental douchenozzle.

I still don’t get it. One more time, please.

Came here only to see if someone posted this. Domo.

“What did the five fingers say to the face???”

And that’s where I lose my understanding of their reasoning.

Step aside, ladies *cracks fingers*, but you’re going to need the brawny might of man hands to open that jar...

If I’m visited by a succubus in the night and she does what succubus does, I ain’t asking no damn questions.

I love video gemes.

Dara O’Briain: “Something-something, baaauuuh...”

Is Star Wars legally allowed to be that slow and still be called Star Wars?

Wasn’t the movie filmed in Brampton or Brantford Ontario?

“CHEESERU!”

Like that time my brother swapped the lotion out of my secret bottle of Lubriderm with crazy glue...

“Dear Shoppers, lease accept this free bukkake — uh, I mean, cake - - with our most sincere cumdolences, as you exit the store due to this terrible travasstittie.”

I took a bullet for Bill McNeil at the Battle of San Luis Obispo once.

Well, technically, herpes.exe...

Bazinga

YOU WERE NOT VIOLATED, YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM. YOU ARE A PUSSY TRYING TO CASH IN ON SOMETHING INSIGNIFICANT. YOU ARE AN OPPORTUNIST.

That’s who.