2nd gear: that's a rendering and I can tell because it looks exciting. It's like VW combined with Porsche only to steal their ultra-conservative styling philosophy. Look at the new VWs. The Golf will be boring, it's destiny.

Well, if you like asses, that's an affordable Porsche.

Nooo, they need the Viper to make the Alfa because Ferrari won't donate. They all own Ferraris there, so they're not givers, they're takers.

BMW -1 series. The two liter is so cool, it's -120. The x-120 will be even cooler.

Awesome side-by-side shots, guys! You really went the extra photochop here.

That would be perfect as a full-size Ramrunner twin. I honestly love them all, and I hope it's not the dodge truck division that has kept Jeep from making them all these years.

But Fiat needs all the X1/9s for the new Stratos!

They still make the Dakota? ~googles~ Holy Mopar they still make the Dakota! Or is it pre-merger inventory?

Carolla DOES know cars. Of the two American shows, I'd say he's got the most outstanding personality and potential. But he's not self-aware like Clarkson or Letterman. He's more abrasive than charming. It's like he was assembled from the leftover parts of Howard Stern and Jay Leno. He's a hard worker, and that's…

Exactly my first thought. The Beetle is so much more appropriate.

The once and future shark!

Dammit, now I got the munchies.

That's a whale tail fail, my friends.

I got a Chrysler, it's as big as a whale and its about to set sail! WHOA!

At least a two-door Panamera couldn't be as ugl... - oh, never mind. Maybe there's a reason they haven't changed their styling in decades.

Ford, another chance to embarrass Ferrari is here! Carpe Diem!

It's a lotus without the subtlety. Clarkson must be thrilled.

The diesel Cruze sounds great and all, but where's the bit where they solved the strict Cali emissions regulations? Is it like the VWs or the Mercs? Or are they using Honda's magical tech?

"But it needed killin'!"

British reliability with American badge? Got it backwards, guys.