I’ve been embracing celibacy for 27 goddamn years and I’ll be happy to instruct Ms. Jolie in the art for a modest monthly sum of $20,000.

If they tweaked the damage model a bit so it doesn’t feel like I’m playing with Nerf guns, I’d love this game. As it is, it just feels like a slog. Too bad, it’s absolutely beautiful and feels very slick to interact with.

That fucking smirk again. Hopefully this guy and Shkreli can find good company in each-other someday. In a cell.

I had to re-read the headline four times to make sure that I was actually seeing good news for once.

I really enjoyed this when I saw it floating around earlier. I hope that lady with the braids is okay, though. It looks to me like she practically pulverized her shins kicking that thing!

Please, for the love of all that is good and right in this world, I hope this is true. I’m sure you can understand why I have little of that anymore. Hope, that is.

Thank god I was wrong. Or whatever. Same time next week? Same time next week. See you again for this same struggle, over and over and over and over and over and over again until I die of stress.

It’s probably gonna pass. It will murder people. Men, women, children. Dead, because of it. Because of these fucking cowards and their selfish, greedy, shortsighted, sociopathic bullshit. If there were any justice in the world these people would be pulled from their beds, shackled and shoved into a deep, dark prison…

Shut up I’m not crying you’re crying

Twitter isn’t even gonna approach being a safe place until all those white supremacists making blatant death threats are actually banned for their actions. Right now they basically act with impunity.

Well, I love to make content, but people don’t love to watch it! If only having a great voice was enough.

(Small pizza.)

Not that I’m jumping instantly to doubt, but is there something I could Google on this? I hadn’t heard anything!

If they’re anything like my batshit conservative relatives, they simply don’t believe it actually happened. There’s a reason I don’t go to Thanksgiving anymore.

I... actually have one. But I think it looks good with my face shape, and I want to revel in my longer hair while I still have it (history of hair loss in my family). I think it’s fine to make fun of pretentious d-bags, obviously. If I ever start wearing a delicately cocked flat cap and overalls while sipping on…

Okay, seriously, how is it that this hasn’t been thrown out yet?

Me.

My first reaction was: “Wait, why is there no s— oh.” Then I felt stupid.

Thanks for writing this, Kara. And thanks to your grandmother, too!

Every time I look at her I can just feel her desperate thirst. She wants so very badly to be able to point at someone and say “take him away” and have it happen.