I’d like to think that reaching the center of the galaxy allows you to create your own solar system somewhere in the universe for others to find. Probably a silly wish.

Ah. Yes. 15GB for a phone is totally reasonable.

Just 15GB? I frequently come dangerously close to my 300GB cap and wish I had more.

Oh, cool. Nobody I care about.

I’m convinced that there’s some sort of nasty feedback loop with old people and food temperature. Their circulation is terrible and their nervous system doesn’t work quite right anymore, so the food feels kinda cold. So they heat it up until it feels hot again. Only problem, it’s so hot that it burns their mouth,…

It’s the special sauce that’s the problem on that one.

2016 unveiling plans:

Ranch is terrible.

I honestly couldn’t care less about table etiquette. I just treat people politely and it seems to work out just fine.

I don’t know about other people, but I remove silverware then stack biggest to smallest. Most servers seem to appreciate it, and I know I did when I bussed.

Absolutely. Stack the plates, silverware and any trash go on top. Their job is hard enough, I don’t want to be the kind of person who makes it harder.

He also sought out a sociologist from Berkeley to address the rampant shortage of blue cheese plaguing chicken wing orders.

You know what the appropriate response is when a server asks to bus your table but you don’t want them to?

Go with Abynormal’s suggestion. If that’s not feasible, watch what you can. It’s all great, really, and more or less friendly as self-contained narratives.

I’ve got thick fingers. Trying to use regular floss is like trying to pick a lock through a screen door with a q-tip.

Your cat sounds pretty cool.

To which Loud Girl said, “No, I’m going to feed it to you.”

You could churn out a daily Farmer’s Almanac of shitty customer stories and you’d still never run out.

I knew that sooner or later the chickens would start turning to PMCs to do their dirty work. The cows were putting too much pressure on them. I just never thought it’d be Birdwater.

The only thing that will satisfy these people is a “Vaguely Asian Cuisine” restaurant.